THE KIWI WHO SOARED THE SKIES...

Anong magandang iregalo sa isang babae? :D yung ma-aappreciate niya ah. ayaw ko na muna ng necklaces, rings, stuffed toys and stuff... yung unique naman dapat. any suggestions? :) (and kung pwede, affordable sana. xD)

2011-02-10T05:45:00.001+08:00

Anong magandang iregalo sa isang babae? :D yung ma-aappreciate niya ah. ayaw ko na muna ng necklaces, rings, stuffed toys and stuff... yung unique naman dapat. any suggestions? :) (and kung pwede, affordable sana. xD)

Answer here

if you could have super powers, what would it be and why would you want it? :p

2010-11-28T18:14:00.001+08:00

if you could have super powers, what would it be and why would you want it? :p

Answer here

is expecting the unexpected make the unexpected expected? =))

2010-11-28T18:11:00.001+08:00

is expecting the unexpected make the unexpected expected? =))

Answer here

kung magugunaw na mundo right now, what would be the last thing you'd want to do? :D

2010-11-23T01:03:00.001+08:00

kung magugunaw na mundo right now, what would be the last thing you'd want to do? :D

Answer here

how about the worst thing? :D

2010-11-23T01:02:00.001+08:00

how about the worst thing? :D

Answer here

What is the best thing about you? :)

2010-11-23T01:01:00.001+08:00

What is the best thing about you? :)

Answer here

which came first: the music or the misery? :))

2010-11-09T18:26:00.001+08:00

which came first: the music or the misery? :))

Answer here

Failed

2010-05-11T12:14:00.002+08:00

“The Filipino is worth dying for.” – Benigno Servillano “Ninoy” Aquino Jr.

This line was actually world famous. Well, who wouldn’t know him? But do you think what he said is still true at this point of time?

The first automated election was just held this May 10, 2010. Well, people expected some technical difficulties or some sort but thank God nothing happened. Well, something happened to tell the truth. It’s the first automated election in which people didn’t use their right to vote “wisely.”

Currently, Mr. Benigno “Noynoy” Aquino is on top. There is already an 87% chance he would win if I may say. But let’s not talk about that. Let’s analyze a very small thing a bit deeper: why the heck is Ex-President Joseph Ejercito “Erap” Estrada on the second place?

Last January 17, 2001, the Epifanio de los Santos Avenue road was again filled with millions of people, better known as the EDSA II Revolution and lasted for 4 days. The reason for this revolution is to throw away the current president at that time, Erap, from his seat. Erap, seeing this united but peaceful resolution of the people, decided to step down from the seat on January 20, 2001, making Gloria Macapagal Arroyo the President of the Philippines.

Millions of people joined this revolution. Millions of Filipinos wanted to throw him away from his seat. But then, why the heck did he also get millions of votes from Filipinos now?!

Don’t get me wrong, I have NOTHING against Ex-President Joseph Estrada but can’t those people who voted for him see that those millions of votes that they gave him were actually just put into waste? Come on, the PEOPLE threw him away from his seat and now, those same PEOPLE are actually wanting to re-appoint him?! What the heck is wrong with you people? Are you trying to say to everyone else that, “Hey, we made a mistake on making him leave his post, let’s re-appoint him!” Are you trying to say that you actually wasted 4 days of your damn precious life making him leave his post?

I’m disappointed, really. Those millions of votes that he got would have been better off given to any of those other candidates. Did you dislike Noynoy? Then you should have given it to Gibo instead. Dislike them both? Hey, Gordon, Villar and the other candidates still exist you know. It’s actually better, rather than giving it to someone you threw away from the post.

Seeing these results, I wonder if Ninoy would have still said that world-famous phrase if he is still living now.

The World that was...

2010-03-26T11:15:00.001+08:00

“Where am I? What’s this place? It’s the same place but why is this like this? I recognize it but it feels like it’s not the same…”

It’s been a month and I hardly recognize what this place is. At first, I believed that it will be the same as always like when I was still in the Far East, that the only difference is the geographical location and its climate.

But I was gravely mistaken.

“We’ve changed,” an old man about 60 years old said. When he said these very words, I felt like what is left in this very soul of mine has been torn apart again. He was explaining something to someone but I didn’t care. I was trying to close my ears from every sound that is surrounding me. I just don’t want to feel my soul be torn apart more than it is now. It hurts.

In the Far East, in these kind of situations, I would have sent group messages to people, pestering them with my whines about how life is f*cking and messing me. Though some or should I say most of them wouldn’t care, having someone read it means a lot to me and makes me feel better even for just a day, an hour, a minute, or even a second. It feels like someone, at the very least, listened to my cries of pain and tried to understand me even though in reality, they really don’t. But as you can see, things are just not the same. No matter how f*cked up I become, there will be no one.

To tell the truth, I’m sick and tired of whining about everything. But most of the times, it’s the only thing that I can actually do. I’m always in situations where one wants to just die to stop the bleeding that one feels inside but oh well, the One above us all seems to not want to let me rest yet. Maybe it’s because I haven’t had enough suffering yet?

“I’m sorry,” said the old man after the long discussion. I’m wondering whether what the sorry is for and if he really meant it. Somehow it doesn’t feel he does. Well, who am I to judge him? I’m not God.

I wonder. When I said sorry to a certain girl, did she not believe me like the way I do not believe that old man? Had she had enough of me saying a bit too many sorry to a bit too many mistakes of mine?

I don’t really know.

I wish she was here. I miss the way how everything still feels it will be alright no matter how much it really isn’t.

I guess the “home” where I once felt is now burned to the ground and will forever be out of my sight.

Resemblance...

2010-03-17T12:27:00.001+08:00

I’ve been dying to post this one but I became too lazy to write it so this took some time. Good thing I finally got the mood to make this (wait, is it just me, or am I getting more talkative than usual?)

So last Saturday (if I’m not mistaken, don’t have a good memory you know), we watched the crappy Pacquiao vs. Clottey bout. Come on, the pay per view was about $50 and all you get to watch was a 12 round “Pacman-making-Clottey-a-live-dummy” fight. Ugh, I so hate that fight. Well, let’s skip the boring fight.

Before the fight, there was this girl that was talking way too much. I mean, TOO much. Want a hint why? She was literally talking bout topics that shouldn’t really be opened in public (oh, but wait, I forgot, I’m not in the Philippines now. Maybe such things are normal here. I wonder.) I won’t mention in public what she was talking about. After all, she was just asking someone how to please HERSELF more. Get it? If you don’t, well, it’s better. If you do, well, that’s that. To make things weirder, the people she was asking didn’t even seem to be surprised. Oh well, people really are more liberated (if not totally) in other countries I guess. By the way, I didn’t intentionally listen to her stories. Want a proof? The left earphone was in my left ear (she was on my right side. *wink*)

Earlier that day, we had our first Holy Supper here. It’s same as always except that it was in the English Language. Well, not literally the same. I saw that cute/beautiful girl again.

We were both at the exit (I was with my mother. And I think she was waiting for her family.) She’s not that tall (about 5’5 or 5’4, I think.) Her hair’s about shoulder length. She have cute eyes, is a bit skinny, and has a white skin complexion (haha, I really do like the skinny and white complexioned girls, don’t you think so?) At that time, I was thinking, “Miss, aren’t you feeling cold?” You guess why.

She was wearing a formal jacket, yes, but come on. Her dress was just up to her knees and not wearing any thermal leggings or stockings. (Don’t blame me for looking at her legs, it really is noticeable. XD) I always see her every Sunday and I think I already have a crush on this girl. The problem is, in this area, unlike in the Philippines, I don’t have any connections to be able to know her name. Haha! But I do want (if not “badly want”) to know her name. Oh, and before I forget, she looks like she’s just on high school (those who knows me well would know why she captured my eyes in the first place. The only difference is that she wasn’t wearing any glasses. *winks*)

Well, that concludes my crappy report. I wonder why I was dying to post this one.

P.S. I miss Darah, Arianne and ***** right now. *sighs*

Short Message...

2010-03-08T18:13:00.005+08:00

“Kung hindi siya, huwag na lang.” – Sen. Gilbert “Gibo” Teodoro Jr.

Hm, I heard that phrase from a certain T.V. show and it caught my attention. Can you guess why? Well, basically, it’s what runs in my head every time they say I should just find other “fishes” in this vast ocean.

It’s been exactly 8 months and 9 days since that happened (if I’m not quite mistaken). Many things already happened. Many things have changed. I myself know that she doesn’t feel a thing for me now. However, no matter how stupid you call me, how fool you think of me and how much you pity me, something really haven’t changed a bit: I still do love her.

This has been my problem since she broke up with me. I can’t stop thinking about her, if not all day, it’s a nightlong suffering. I miss her and at the same time I’m hurt by the truth that no matter what I do, it’s hard (if not impossible) to bring her back. My mind always wanders aimlessly into a time and space that would never exist. A vacuum where she and I are still together, living in a fairytale-like story that would end in a “happily ever after.”

Even though I’m now in the far west (based on man’s own sense of direction), nothing much really changed except the climate here. It’s VERY VERY COLD here. It’s a place that is exactly the opposite of the place where I came from. When you go outside during the day, you’d feel the warmth of the sun’s rays, yes, but it’s still dead COLD. It even worsens during the night (oh by the way, the current time in here is 4:40 A.M.).

I was just thinking why in the world I can’t move on. She wasn’t the first girl that I loved after all (fact: I was rejected by about 6-8 girls, can’t really remember the exact number, some of them where crushes, but there are some that I really did love. Well, I still got rejected by them anyway until she came).

And you know what? I came up with a simple yet stupid answer. Haha. It’s okay if you’d laugh, but it’s true. The answer was that I considered her as my wife (you can laugh, go ahead). Pathetic, isn’t it? A 17 year old that was in a relationship with a 15 year old, thinking of her as his wife. Come on, it’s insane isn’t it? Yeah, call it crazy, call it insane, call it every name you can call it. But I call it “love”.

I keep on telling myself, “No, come on; don’t be stupid. She’s not your wife. She doesn’t even want and will never want to marry you right now or in the near future, wake up!” But guess what? I’m really am just plain stupid. I answered myself humbly, “I didn’t love her to love me back.” And there you go; my other self won’t answer back. Plain stupid, isn’t it?

Someone said that time heals everything. Yeah, I know that. Everyone does. However, I don’t need to be healed or let me just rephrase that as “I don’t want to be healed” for some unknown reason (at least we know it’s another stupid one).

Maybe I should just stop thinking, no? It’s already 5:02 A.M. here. I feel a bit sleepy, but let me write a short letter for her (even though there’s just one in a million chances for her to be able to read this):

Dear ____________,

I’ll always love you.

-- J.D.

7 Different Types of Breakup Ranked by Recovery Time

2010-02-23T21:23:00.003+08:00

Which element of a breakup dictates recovery time more: the type of breakup, or the person you broke up with? My theory is the type of breakup you experience determines how long it takes to get over it more than the actual person.

Here are 7 different types of breakups ranked by shortest recovery time to longest recovery time:

7. The Mutual Breakup

This is as peaceful a breakup as you can have, like when the entire family agrees it's time to pull the plug on grandpa's respirator: he is freed of his misery, and the family feels a sense of relief. I've never had a mutual breakup. I can't catch that lightning in a bottle. But it can't be that tough to recover from a mutual breakup and get back out in the dating scene again.

6. The Circumstantial Breakup

A cousin of the mutual breakup, the circumstantial breakup occurs when the environment around you won't permit the relationship to continue: my parents hate you, you're in Cali and I'm in NY (or even, you're one town over), I need to be single for a while, etc. Recovery time is shortened because the other person offers an excuse that takes the focus off your weaknesses or unattractive qualities that could have caused a breakup.

5. The Ultimatum Breakup

The most common ultimatum leading to a breakup is: "ask me to marry you within the next year of I'm out of here." Other conflicts could cause ultimatums as well: change your religion, get rid of that stupid old car, etc. Ultimatum breakups can be tough to get over because it's annoying that a little compromise could have prevented it. But once it's over, that pressure from the stalemate you reached in the relationship is gone, so it's quite a relief.

4. The Something Someone Said Breakup

My friend broke up with his girlfriend he was dating for years, and he mentioned a conversation that occurred shortly before they broke up. They were discussing wedding rings, and she asked how much he'd spend. He simply hasn't studied the "market" so he threw a number out there: "I don't know, $5,000." She scoffed and said: "You should spend no less than $20,000."

He told me after she said that, he couldn't think of her the same way anymore. In fact, it put a figurative "X" over her image in his eyes. They eventually broke up, and this conversation was the springboard. This type of breakup is painful because you wish you could take something you said or did back.

3. The I've Been Cheating

Whether you find out from them or some other way, it's the ultimate betrayal when they are cheating on you. You can get over it because you dismiss this person as a cheating jerk, but you still feel stupid and you might spend several months envisioning the cheating or trying to regain faith in the opposite gender.

2. The First Love Breakup

The First Love breakup is one of the toughest to overcome. Some say you never get over it. This breakup teaches us that the world is a bigger place than we thought. There are more people to meet, there are bills to pay, there are places to go. Things just can't stay the same as they once were.

Mine hit me when I got to college and my girlfirend stayed behind in high school. Eventually, we had to move on. The first love breakup is hurts so much because you've never experienced this feeling of loss and disappointment before. And, it's part of growing up and growing up is usually a painful process.

1. The Blind Side

My friend recently blind sided his ex. After she cried for an hour, he decided he had put in enough time and he left. This is traumatic because it comes out of nowhere. The blind sider may have been thinking about it for months, and they conceal their intentions, then drop the bomb while everything seems to be going well. In fact, the couple may have spent time together the night before, but the blind sider did so out of obligation.

Blind Sides chip away at your ability to trust. If someone can break up with you when things seem to be going so well, you'll have a tough time avoiding paranoia and trusting your new partners.

Reposted only from Lemuel Villaflor's note in Facebook

Thank You

2010-02-15T22:28:00.002+08:00

"We may have taken different paths now but who knows? Maybe we might end up meeting again in the future. Well, that is if our fates are intertwined with each other."

It's been a very long year for me. Many things happened. Some of it made me want to give up, really. But I really do find it funny how I tend to complain on how hard my hardships had been, yet I still manage to get out of it, somehow. Well enough of the drama part, I'm sure most of the ones who read my past entries are tired of these "hopeless romantic" essays. LOL

I'm about to leave this country. Yeah, you read it right. It's on Friday, February 19. I'll be heading in a far away country called Canada. Actually, I was supposed to stay there for almost the rest of my life, but I met someone who made me want to stay (At least, that was, uhm, a year ago?) Now that I'm about to leave, I don't really want to comeback, but because of my half-assed reason last time, I am forced (not really) to return and study here (The reason I gave my family was that I wanted to finish my studies at THE University of the Philippines. Little they know that the real reason WAS a person. Haha)

I wrote this essay to express my gratitude to those whom I've met. I know it's not much, but I hope you like it.

First of all, THANK YOU. I thank you all for everything. J

They say memories tend to fade. No matter how hard you contradict that, no matter which angle u look at it, it IS true. However, I want to keep mine well preserve, everything, yes, everything, especially my memory with her. :D Here is the list of the ones I thank the most (got this style from my friend's note in Facebook, Cherry Mae Cristobal):

•1. Thank You to the one who made me happiest. I'll forever treasure you and continue to love you. J I PROMISE that I'll never forget you.

•2. Thank You to the one who stayed with me even though I know she's tired with all her school works and my repeated blabbing of how I'm tired of living in this world. :))

•3. Thank You to the one who tried to understand me the most. I might have hurt her with my words saying no matter what she does, she'll never understand, so, you have my sorry as well. You're the one who was closest to understand me.

•4. Thank You to a friend of hers who NEVER betrayed her while trying to not betray me as well. You were a good friend. I appreciated everything you've done.

•5. Thank You to another friend of hers who were always there for me as well. I know she's busy with her school works and her own life (ehem, you know what I mean. Haha, I don't want to tell it here because someone who shouldn't know might end up reading is, so it's safer to make it sound this way.)

•6. Thank You to yet another friend of hers who I know she has her own problems but still had time to cheer me up.

•7. Thank You to yet another friend of hers who I had fun sharing things with. Another busy one, but you can always count on her.

•8. Thank You to the girl, who despite of not being able to always talk to her, she responded to one of my group messages, the time when I needed someone to talk to the most.

•9. Thank You to another girl who always gave me the bright side of things even though she always calls me names. HAHA. Even though she's now busy with school because she's about to graduate, she's still one text away.

•10. Thank You to the girl who I always share gossips with. She makes me laugh when I need to.

•11. Thank You to the girl I once liked. She was a good friend to me. :D

•12. Thank You to my friends in my church. They always make me forget my problems.

•13. Thank you to the girl I like the most right now. She's the one who never fails to make me smile. I may be just a friend to you, but you're more than that to me, though that would be the only thing between us, nothing more, nothing less (I guess? Haha).

•14. Lastly, thank you to the one who is reading this right now. The fact that you're reading this right now means I am important to you, even though it's just "a bit". Thank you so much. J

"Chance meeting or fated meeting, whatever you call it, I'm thankful I met you. And I hope to meet you again. J"

Silent Lips

2010-01-29T21:01:00.001+08:00

How long has it been since I wrote something that should be concealed from everyone else? How long has it been since I tried to drown myself from everything else in this world with the use of a small gadget with its earphones plugged in my ears? I can't even remember properly. Oh, I forgot, I always tend to forget everything since that day.

Right now, a series of mixed emotions are slowly flowing through my veins. I looked around but all I can see is darkness (well, the lights are turned off, no wonder). I was curled up like a ball in my bed, biting my hands as hard as I can just to calm myself. Yes, I'm insane right now. But would you be able to roll your eyes or laugh at me as you read that phrase if you're in the same shoe as me? Well, I know you won't be able to, or at least, I hope you won't be able to because if you'd be able to, you're just plain cold-hearted.

I looked at my cellular phone, hoping that there would be a message to read (just to pass time). But who the hell would send a message during this time of the morning? It's just 3:37 A.M. Well, since it's futile to wait, I decided to turn my full attention to the music currently playing in Terzo.03 (he's my iPod Nano, 5^th Generation). "I'll escape reality for awhile," I said to myself. So the music dragged on with me paying none of my attention to anything else. And as it serenade my mind, my lips unconsciously followed every bit of its lyrics silently:

I'm gonna ride this plane out of your life again
I wish that I could stay, but you argued
More than this I wish, you could've seen my face
In backseats staring out, the window

I'll do anything for you
Kill anyone for you

So leave yourself intact
'Cause I will be coming back
In a phrase to cut these lips
I love you

The morning will come
In the press of every kiss
With your head upon my chest
Where I will annoy you
With every waking breath
Until you decide to wake up

I've earned through hope and faith
On the curves around your face
That I'm the one you'll hold forever
If morning never comes for either one of us
Then this I pray to you wherever

I'll do anything for you
This story is for you
('Cause I'd do anything you want me to for you)
I'll do anything for you
Kill anyone for you

So leave yourself intact
'Cause I won't be coming back
In a phrase to cut these lips
I loved you

The morning will come
In the press of every kiss
With your head upon my chest
Where I will annoy you
With every waking breath
Until you decide to wake up

The morning will come
In the press of every kiss
With your head upon my chest
Where I will annoy you
With every waking breath
'Til you decide to wake up

My consciousness continued to slip away, so I'm not quite sure how many times my lips followed the said song. As I opened my eyes, I saw a gentle light from my window. "So, it's morning again, huh?" I said to myself. I thought that even though every night seems to be hellish, I have always been given the chance to witness another day of life (even though for me, it really seems irrelevant to continue living now, seriously). I straightened my back and prayed to the one who gave me this precious gift (yes, I think it's still precious despite how much irrelevant I think it is for me).

48 Relationship Guidelines

2010-01-23T19:33:00.005+08:00

These are interesting things to ponder in a relationship (The ones that are in bold letters are my favorites. I even made reactions to some of it. Enjoy reading!):

1. "Ang mag-assume, TALO."

2. "Kung ayaw may DAHILAN, kung gusto may PARAAN." (ALWAYS TRUE, believe it or not)

3. "Wag masyado magpadala sa text."

4. "BACK OFF (as in back off) sa mga IN A RELATIONSHIP, kahit saan anggulo mo tingnan, ikaw pa rin ang mali."

5. "Never borrow someone else's man/girl. If he/she cheated with you, he'll/she'll cheat on you."

6. "Hayaan mo siyang gawin yung gusto niyang gawin. Buhay niya yun, hindi mo maco-control. As long as alam niya yung limitations niya."

7. "Take it slow. Steady lang."

8. "Maniwala sa IT'S COMPLICATED na status. Hindi lang chenes yan."

9. "Learn to LET GO kung alam mong wala na talaga." (Madaling sabihin, mahirap gawin diba? Haha...)

10. "Keep your DIGNITY."

11. "If a man/woman wants you, nothing can keep him/her away. If he/she doesn't want you, nothing can make him/her stay." (So true, but hard to accept...)

12. "Wag magselos sa siblings and relatives ng boyfriend/girlfirend mo."

13. "Ang QT (quality time), at least 5 hours lang per week." (Importante to sa isang relationship, maniwala kayo.)

14. "Don't revolve your life around him/her. Learn to be independent." (TAMA. Pero darating yung time na anung gawin mo, magrerevolve sa kaniya ung buhay mo.)

15. "Hindi dahilan ang TIME."

16. "Kung ayaw sayo ng kapatid, hayaan mo siya. Wala siyang magagawa kung mahal ka talaga niya."

17. "Wag magpakilala sa parents agad. It can affect your relationship." (So true, so true, it's one of my fatal mistakes.)

18. "Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache. Kadalasan tama ito mga girls."

19. "Be nice to your EX. Wag maging BITTER." (TAMA!)

20. "If a relationship ends because the man/woman was not treating you as you deserve, then heck no, you can't "be friends". A friend wouldn't mistreat a friend. At some case this is applicable." (Tinamaan aq rito. Totoo to... L)

21. "Wag magpadala sa SITUATION. Baka overwhelmed ka lang."

22. "Stop making excuses for a man/woman and his/her behavior. Paminsan-minsan take off your helmet."

23. "When you meet anyone, remember it's a holy encounter. As you treat them you will treat yourself. As you think of them, you think of yourself. Never forget this, for in them you will find yourself or lose yourself."

24. "Hindi balakid kung magkaiba ang RELIGION niyong dalawa."

25. "Kung kayang i-workout, i-WORKOUT!"
Kalokohan ang reason na "IT'S NOT YOU, IT'S ME." (Ngayon alam niyo na. haha...)

26. "All men are NOT dogs. You should not be the one doing all the bending... compromise is a two way street."

27. "Learn to forgive para magkaroon ka ng peace of mind."

28. "Some can forgive but can't forget." (True... L)

29. "If something bothers you, speak up! mahirap kapag nagpapakiramdaman lang kayo."

30. "OPEN COMMUNICATION, TRUST AND HONESTY are the most important ingredients in a relationship." (Tandaan niyo to!)

31. "You need time to heal between relationships. there is nothing cute about baggage. deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship pag hindi kasi, it can affect or even ruin your relationship."

32. "Ok lang na magselos, basta yung pakilig lang."

33. "Always have your own set of friends separate from his/her para may iba kang channels that is without him/her." (L)

34. "Make him/her miss you sometimes. when a man/woman always know where you are, and you're always readily available to him/her, he/she takes it for granted."

35. "Always make time for your family and friends."

36. "You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you. a relationship consists of two WHOLE individuals. look for someone complimentary. not supplementary." (Di ako masyado naniniwala rito. Pero alam kong totoo to. Labo no? haha)

37. "Always make time for yourself."

38. "Wala yun sa tagal ng relationship. nasa pagmamahal." (Tama...)

39. "There's NO SUCH THING as MR. RIGHT or MS. RIGHT. It's how you mold him/her to become rightfully for you." (I AGREE! DEFINITELY!)

40. "There's NO SUCH THING as COOL OFF/GRAY AREA. Kung white, white! Kung black, black! Walang GRAY AREA."

41. "Always think a number of times before deciding on to something important." (Think more than twice, ok?)

42."There's a possibility that a person can get attracted to another. It's human nature. It's not wrong. But that is why you're in a commitment, you discipline yourself. One may get attracted to numerous prospects and its ok. As long as you don't nurse the feeling and do something about it. It's the borderline between cheating and faithfulness. Recognize reality that you already have the person that can give you more than what you get for the cheap thrill of attraction."

43. "You need to let go of the past to have a future" (Isa na namang madaling sabihin, mahirap gawin.)

44. "Do not take anyone for granted."

45. "If what you see by the eye doesn't please you, then close your eyes and see from the heart. Because the heart can see beauty and love more than the eyes can ever wonder."

46. "If you felt it, then it was true. Getting hurt doesn't always mean you suffered, it also means you loved sincerely. Don't frown because it's over. SMILE BECAUSE IT HAPPENED." (I STRONGLY DISAGREE! YOU CAN'T SMILE DURING THESE TIMES! I can assure you, no matter what, you won't be able to smile just because it happened)

47. "KARMA (whatever you do) will find its way." (Matakot kayo.)

48. "Everything will fall into place." (This is the one thing that I truly believe. There is no such thing as "never meant to be." Everything is "meant to be." It just didn't turn out the way we wanted it to.)

*credits to Ms. Katreena Ramos. I got this from one of her notes in her facebook.

Want To Kill Time?

2010-01-15T12:50:00.011+08:00

Hey! I've been so busy just reading mangas nowadays (because I'm a bit lonely and is missing someone. To simply put it, I'm a bit "emo" lately. L.O.L.) and I wanted to share some of them to you (well, at least the ones I like the most) but before that, let me introduce to you what mangas are (for those who doesn't know what they really are but if you do know, skip this part and just read ranked mangas).

Well, most of you have probably heard the word "manga" from one of your friends or so but don't actually know how it looks like or what it is. It's basically like what you see in comic books. Well, to simply put it, it's the "comic book" of the Japanese people. Here's a sample.

This is a scene from Naruto Chapter 474

-:-Here's the list of the one's I enjoy/enjoyed reading the most (ranked from 1-10)-:-

1. Naruto

Status: Ongoing

Updates: Weekly

Plot:

The story started with a kid named Uzumaki Naruto in a ninja village called Konoha. He was first rejected by the whole village because a demon fox was planted within his body by the deceased Fourth Hokage (Konoha Leader). He's trying his best to aim for the title "Hokage" and gain the village's trust. However, it might turn out that he won't only gain trust from the people of Konoha but from the whole ninja world itself!

Comment:

I ranked it as number one because the story is just way cool and unpredictable (though there are some boring parts that sometimes take even one chapter!). It's just worth reading. J

2. Bleach

Status: Ongoing

Updates: Weekly

Plot:

The plot is mainly about the fighting of Shinigamis (Death Gods) and Hollows (spirits that had gone bad). Kurosaki Ichigo was just like any other human (or was he?) but was suddenly turned into his town's Shinigami because of an accident and it's now up to him to protect it from the terrible hollows.

Comment:

It's ranked two 'coz it's your ordinary good vs. evil type of manga. The thing is, it sometimes turns out EXTRA-ordinary. So check it out as well. J

3. One Piece

Status: Ongoing

Updates: Weekly

Plot:

In the world where pirates and marines fought, there's one extraordinary kid named Monkey D. Luffy who aims to be the Pirate King. To be the pirate king, he must conquer the vast Grandline and obtain the treasure that the last pirate king left: One Piece.

Comment:

I LOVE the story. You won't get bored at all. Just read it to believe me!

4. Death Note

Status: Completed

Plot:

In the world of Shinigamis, a shinigami called Ryuuk keeps on getting bored and as a past time, he drops the notebook that he uses to kill people whose time is up: the Death Note. This time, man named Yagami Light (Raito in Japanese) picked the notebook up and he soon figured out what the notebook does. Because of Light's strong sense of justice and Ryuuk's stupid boredom, Light used it to kill so many criminals. With these, the legendary Detective L is going to try track him down and stop the massive killings of criminals.

Comment:

One word: SPLENDID. This manga is just sooo cool. It's way beyond imagination. I mean, it's a unique manga. That's all I can say about it. J

5. Case Closed (Detective Conan)

Status: Ongoing

Updates: Weekly

Plot:

Shinichi Kudou was forced to drink a mysterious substance by two grim-looking people in an unknown organization. Kudou shrunk into a kid and is trying to track down the two who did this to his body while solving cases along the way.

Well I like mystery stories. They make you think and so as this manga. Check it out though you might be bored with some chapters (some really are boring). Still, try it. J

6. Hajime No Ippo

Status: Ongoing

Updates: Weekly

Plot:

Makunochi Ippo was just a guy bullied in his school. Well, he WAS. He became interested in boxing because of a guy named Mamoru Takamura who saved him from the bullies and is now aspiring to be the top boxer of the world in his weight class!

Comment:

It's exciting to read. Can't even believe I read 100+ chapters in just two days. You'd be left wanting to know immediately what would happen next with every chapter end. It's also a funny type of manga. In addition, it depicts what a typical guy's dream would be like. So if you're into sports esp. boxing, this is a manga worth trying to read. I'm currently so hooked to this one. (It now has 800+ chapters by the way. haha)J

7. Katekyo Hitman Reborn

Status: Ongoing

Updates: Weekly

Plot:

Sawada Tsunayoshi was your typical loser student. He's just simply a no-good. But when a hitman named Reborn came to him (he was supposedly his Math tutor), he was then selected as the tenth boss of the a famous mafia clan: the Vongola Family.

Comment:

This is another funny one. Though boring parts are present, it just suddenly gets interesting when you're about to get tired of the "boring parts". Check it out. J

8. Liar Game

Status: Ongoing

Updates: Weekly

Plot:

It's about, well, as the title say, a game about lying. It's a certain scam where people where forced to lie for money. A girl named Nao Kanzaki got caught in the scam and eventually met a guy named Shinichi Akiyama who is an ex-convict and a genius who just recently got out in jail. Together, they try to take the ones who devised the said scam.

Comment:

It has a pretty boring plot but it somehow caught my interest. Try it, maybe you'd also like it. J

9. D.Gray-Man

Status: Ongoing

Updates: Monthly

Plot:

It's a battle between exorcists and akumas (I think they're the same as "devils"). Allen Walker, a 15-yr. old kid, together with his exorcist friends, they try to destroy all the akumas with their Innocence (something like a weapon of God) and defeat the maker of the akumas, the Millenium Earl.

Comment:

It's ranked this low but it's pretty interesting. I ranked it as eight because it only updates monthly. >,< Do check it out.

10. Eyeshield 21

Status: Completed

Plot:

An ordinary guy named Sena Kobayakawa was seen to be extraordinary by the captain of Deimon Devil Bats (football team of Deimon Private Senior High School), Yoichi Hiruma, because of Sena's speed. Sena was then made the running back of the Devil Bats and with the team, they will try to make their way to the top of the world of football.

Comment:

Well, I love Hiruma's dark sense of humour and his genius tactics in football. It's a pretty boring manga for a non-football lover, but you might be interested in reading it, I wasn't much of a football lover as well but hey, I finished it anyway without getting bored. ;)

Hope you try reading all of them! Enjoy. ^_^

P.S. Just click the "Onemanga" on my blog (it's on top) if you're interested in reading any of them. J

I'm Back!!!

2010-01-14T07:32:00.011+08:00

Okay, it's been sooo long since I last poseted something here. The reason? Well, my blog somehow malfunctioned and I was too lazy to try and fix it again until now

Anyway, I know it's a bit late, but let me greet all of you a HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Antay lang kayo ng updates aa? Ingat parati people. :)

End of a Page...

2009-10-19T22:13:00.002+08:00

Okay, since UPd people are posting "evaluations" for the classes they've taken, let me post mine as well.

1^st Semester of my First Year

"Evaluation"

Subject: Math 17

Professor: Mr. Clarrisson Canlubo

Grade Basis: Five long exams, quizzes and assignments (during the early days), his never ending board works, and the Departmental Exams (Midterm and Final Exam).

Class Description: His teaching style, in my opinion, varies from the rest. He would dissect each concept first, explaining to us how it arrived to that concept. He'd say random jokes and tell stories whenever he feels to. Well, I can say that as a teacher, he IS fun but I don't really like his teaching strategy. His long exams may vary from VERY easy to VERY difficult. As he says, it depends on his mood. Oh, and by the way, he may give off plus points for tasks that you succeed to do (ANY task, I mean. E.g. wearing a skirt and a tube) and usually, if not always, gives off exemption problems.

Grade Expectation: Well, a Math genius would always be a Math genius so if you ARE one, despite his unique strategy, a glistening ONE is possible. Well, I'm not that's why I found the subject hard but nevertheless, passable. Remember, MATH is PRACTICE!

I RECOMMEND him. J

Subject: Biology 1

Professor: Mrs. Sonia Jacinto (1^st half) / Mr. Perry Ong (2^nd half)

Grade Basis: Well, expect a reaction paper at least, two long tests, a group presentation, latest biological breakthrough reports (although in our class, I don't think anyone even submitted) and the Final Exam (optional). ATTENDANCE IS A MUST! (get it?)

Class Description: I LOVED this class. You can do anything you like. I mean ANYTHING. This is a large class so you won't be noticed if you don't want to be noticed. The 1^st half is a bit boring but still tolerable, you just have to jot a bit but if you're lazy to do so, worry not because Mrs. Jacinto provides a print out of her powerpoint presentations. The 2^nd half is lively. I loved this professor. I've learned so much from him. Just LISTEN to his lectures and I'm sure you'll pass. If you happen to forget things, he provides copies of his powerpoint presentations in the site http://uvle.up.edu.ph .

Grade Expectation: Well, I got a 2.0 without even studying HARD like everyone else did so you may expect a grade between 1.0 to 1.75 if you're a hard worker. If you happen to get a PASS grade, don't attempt to take the FINAL exam if you're not a genius. Another piece of advice: just LISTEN, LISTEN, And LISTEN!

I RECOMMEND them. J

Subject: Kasaysayan 2

Professor: Mrs. Alma Bamero

Grade Basis: Two Long Exams.

Class Description: Her class is plain but nevertheless interesting. She's the only History professor who doesn't require her students to make term papers and report things. She'll do all the rest. All you have to do is JOT DOWN NOTES. Her history is pretty much UPDATED so most History textbooks don't have them. You may feel sleepy, but be warned not to. :p Also, she checks attendance so always be present and avoid being late as well. She counts them.

Grade Expectation: Her tests are objective type so it's pretty much like telling a DETAILED story. I failed the first long exam because I failed to tell all the details needed but I know that of all the Kasaysayan courses out there, hers is the easiest to pass.

I RECOMMEND her. J

Subject: English 1

Professor: Mr. Arnel Galang

Grade Basis: Short Essays, Recitation, Two Major Papers and Final Exam.

Class Description: I simply hate English 1 but let's me be fair. His class is a scary one. He's O.C! AVOID, as in capital A-V-O-I-D tardiness. I almost failed to take the Final Exam. I was late by about eight minutes. He assigns specimen texts and analytic texts. Every class time, you should prepare AT LEAST three CRITICAL questions about those. Fail to do so, and you'd be immediately sent out of the room. Also, always bring a dictionary. He randomly calls people for recitation and HAS HIGH GRADING SYSTEM.

Grade Expectation: If you're an English wiz, you could expect a 2.0 or even a flat 1. However, if not, you should expect a grade between 3.0 or 5.0. His grades are just too high. His flat 1 would require a rating of 97 or better. IMAGINE.

I WON'T RECOMMEND him unless you're good because if you are, I know he would be able to unleash the beast in you. :>

Subject: Philosophy 1

Professor: Mr. Jerwin Agpaoa

Grade Basis: Presence, Group works, random works, midterms.

Class Description: This IS my favorite class. I mean, you won't be stressed about whether you would pass or not. THIS SUBJECT IS a sure pass unless you do something that won't let you to do so. Additional to that, this subject is FUN. The greatest thing about the subject is... NO FINALS!

Grade Expectation: Well, expect a grade of 2.0 or higher. J

I ULTIMATELY RECOMMEND him. J

Subject: P.E. 2 (Basketball, Men)

Professor: Mr. Edwin Barber

Grade Basis: Tickets (UAAP games of UP, Cheerdance, etc.) and the interclass tournament

Class Description: I LOVE Basketball even though I'm not good at it. If you love it as well, then this class is a must. The prof. is kind enough to understand the weaklings (like me) in the said sport.

Grade Expectation: At least a 2.0 or higher. It's a sure pass. ^_^

I DO RECOMMEND this for those who like Basketball (whether you're good at it or not). J

Credits: Thank you, Mico Subosa for the style. I hope you don't mind.

Stuck in between...

2009-10-08T21:34:00.000+08:00

The clock ticked and ticked and I can't seem to go to sleep. I was looking blankly at the ceiling of my room. Devoured by darkness, I looked at my watch and it's already 2:30 in the morning. The rain sang in a gentle sound outside my room. I decided to sit up and plug my earphones. I turned my iPod on and pressed play.

"A strangled smile fell from your face. It kills me that I hurt you this way. The worst part is that I didn't even know..."

A scene flashed as I close my eyes. I was sitting in a jeepney, looking at the perfect feature of the girl beside me. She tried to avoid my eyes and instead stared outside. I asked her if there's something wrong, but she just shook her head. When it was time to bid farewell, she gave me a smile and waved goodbye.

"Now there's a million reasons for you to go but if you can find a reason to stay..."

The scene disappeared into nothingness and I found myself back into my dark room. I looked for my cellular phone and when I finally found it, I browsed my saved messages and found one of hers. It was the message she sent to me saying she wants to break up with me. I stared at it for a minute or so, trying to comprehend the things that happened to us.

"I'll do whatever it takes to turn this around. I know what's at stake. I know that I've let you down..."

I made myself believe that it was my mother's fault. She texted the girl that I loved the most, saying that it was because of her that I became the black sheep of our family. It must have hurt my girl so much that's why she chose to break up with me although we loved each other. She was forced to be crucified because of the sins she didn't even commit. "It's my mother's fault! Why can't she understand my feelings for that girl? Why?" I blamed my mother. It even reached the point where I cussed her because of anger. However, just now, I found out that it's not my mother's fault. It was mine all along.

"And if you give me a chance and believe that I can change, I'll keep us together whatever it takes..."

I had been too honest. I didn't know back then that too much honesty would bring catastrophic consequences. I told my parents that I loved this girl. However, because our religion doesn't allow us to have relationships with those who don't have the same faith as us, my mother didn't like my girl. It fumed me so much because we've got everything planned back then. Or so I thought. I've become grumpy with my mother, been too honest to her about how I really feel and it might have offended her because it would seem that I would choose my girl over her. It was true though. We always fought especially when my girl's name was involved. Who wouldn't stand up for the one we love the most when he/she is getting offended by other people? If only I hadn't been cantankerous... If only I hadn't been too honest on how I feel... If only I hadn't told my parents about her...

"But do you remember the time I told you the way that I felt? That I'd be lost without you and never find myself?"

A tear fell from my face. I tried to wipe it out but the tears just fell one after the other. I succumbed to my loneliness asking myself: "Wouldn't we still be together if it hadn't been for my flaw? Wouldn't we still be laughing together and spending time together if it hadn't been for me?"

"I'll do whatever it takes..."

I continued to blame myself. I stared at the ceiling, tears still flowing on my cheeks...

"And if you give me a chance..."

"She's gone," I told myself. She won't be back. I would just be a part of her memory, a bad one that she would later on forget. I will just be a dream turned into a nightmare for her.

"I'll keep us together whatever it takes..."

I calmed myself down and wiped my tears away. The song ended at that moment but I decided to play it back and minimized the volume. I closed my eyes and talked to God. I prayed, telling Him everything that I feel, asking Him if anything would have change if I had been flawless. As I open my eyes again, I feel the pain fading away. I looked at my watch for the second time and it was already 5:20 in the morning. I looked outside the windows. The sun was about to shine any minute now.

"... whatever it takes."

The song just ended again. I wasn't aware how many times I played it back. I decided to turn my iPod off and stood up. I fixed my bed and realized that it's just another day where I'm stuck between times - that past and this present.

(I would like to thank Ms. Arianne Balaoing for allowing me to use her style on this essay and for editing this. Thanks Ianne! :D)

Chain of Memories...

2009-10-01T12:03:00.001+08:00

Ok. It's been while since I posted something. I was lazy. Sorry. Anyway, my life is the same so far. Nothing changed.

I'll just share the things memorable to me:

•I. I got a + 60 points for the 5^th long exam! An instant pass!!!

•II. I gave a birthday card for the person dearest to me.

•III. Storm Ondoy destroyed lives.

•I. + 60 points for Math 17 5^th long exam

So our professor decided to give us a + 60 points (for a reason I know not.) if and only if: the guy wears a tube plus a skirt and the girl wears a wedding gown. Well, if we do wear what the prof. told us to, it would make us look desperate... WELL, I AM A BIT DESPERATE!!! God, a once in a lifetime + 60 dude! An instant pass!!! Who cares about being desperate?

Well, I'm still a bit shy despite my desperation, so I told myself I wouldn't wear it if they won't as well.

Driven by desperation, I asked a friend/classmate of mine, if he would be desperate enough to wear the tube plus the skirt. Well, at first, he DIDN'T want to, but I managed to persuade him. So I decided to be desperate.

I told my parents that I need a tube plus a skirt (my father didn't react violently because of the additional points... he knows I need it that much.) but UNFORTUNATELY, there was no tube that would fit me. :| "Oh no... My 60 points," I told myself >_<

When I arrived at the room, the friend I talked to last night already holds the skirt and told me he's going to make a tube out of another skirt (it was a good idea.) and luckily for me, his block mate was kind enough to lend me two skirts. Some of the girls also wore wedding gowns. We, the "desperates", were the ones whom sir asked to solve the problems he had that day for the class.

It was worth it. After all, it WAS 60 points.

•II. A Weird Birthday Present

Last Thursday, I decided to follow a friend's advice on what to give the person dearest to me: A birthday card.

I asked another friend to accompany me in the National Bookstore to buy a card. When we arrived, we immediately went to the corner where the cards were. When I picked this one card, I liked the cover, the message on the cover, as well as the message of the card itself. It was as if it was really meant for her. When I tried to look for another one, I noticed something: the card that I liked was the only one left! I tried hard to find another one, but there was really no other. It was weird. It was as if the card was telling me: "Pick me! Pick me! I'm meant for her." And so I bought the card.

When the next day arrived, I finally wrote a message in the card. However, I received a text message that she wasn't around! "OMG! What am I going to do? Grrr... Don't tell me this card is going to be put in the garbage bin..." I told myself. Despite this, I still decided to go to school and pursue my original plan: let her friend give the card to her.

Well, everything turned out well. I received a text from her friend that she was in the stage and so I gave the card to her friend when I arrived at the school. She accepted it and I just hoped she liked her birthday present.

•III. Catastrophe: Storm Ondoy

On the day of her birthday, a catastrophe happened: the storm Ondoy showed its wrath. It made some of the areas of Luzon like a big swimming pool.

It was devastating. With just THREE hours... JUST THREE hours... the water already engulfed some of the areas in Central Luzon. The people crying for help were really heart-breaking... Many died... and most of the properties of people who managed to survive were eaten by mud.

We were lucky our house was located in a slope, making it hard to be flooded... Let's all pray for the safety of all of us. It's the simplest but always the most effective.

"TRUE LOVE doesn't and shouldn't end in happy endings because... TRUE LOVE doesn't and shouldn't end."

Just live and die...

2009-09-05T15:22:00.002+08:00

"There was an old, rich man living in an island, who decided to give his three sons a test to know who would inherit all of his riches. The test was to fill his very large, empty lot. The sons can wish for anything from their father for as long as they fill the said lot.

The first son asked for a million. His father gave him the said amount without further ado. He cut all the trees present in their island and had put it in the lot. It didn't even fill 1/8 of the lot.

The second son asked for 2 million and thus his father granted it. He hired all their men in the island and had told them to catch all the fishes they can catch. When they returned to fill the lot, it didn't even reached ¼ of it.

The third on the other hand asked for Php. 10.00. The father was shocked at the amount his son asked but gave it to him nonetheless. The third went to a store and bumped into a mendicant and he decided to give him Php. 5.00. When he returned on their home, he asked his father and two elder brothers to join him in the lot. When they arrived at the lot, he pulled out a box of match in his pocket and handed a stick to each of them. He told them to light each of their sticks and thus, light filled the darkness of the lot."

Okay, I haven't posted for a while. Many things happened during that time. Btw, before I begin to share all the misfortunes that happened in my life, I would like you to know that I got the story above from Atty. Antonio Oposa who was the guest speaker in the public lecture we were required to attend instead of our Kasaysayan 2 class.

The first misfortune was that I failed the 2^nd and 3^rd long tests and my Midterm exam in Math 17. Life is just too ironic for me. I love math and everyone including myself believed it was my forte... but I keep on FAILING it for an unknown reason! Argh!

Second, Ex-President Corazon Aquino has already joined her husband in his grave. We all felt the loss for she was the one who truly gave us democracy. I offer my condolences to the family she left like the rest of the world.

Next, Brother Eraño G. Manalo has already been given by God his deserved rest. He truly lived a fruitful life, led every Iglesia Ni Cristo in the whole world into righteousness and gave hope to every one of us. Every one of us laments right now but we know that life must go on. We will never forget you, Brother Erdie.

Aside from that, she's currently giving me a cold treatment for a reason I know not. I don't want to give her up (Yeah, I know I'm a martyr.) but it seems she wants me to. Guess I need a bit of rest from this tiresome longing for her comeback. (Don't get me wrong there; I still have no will to give her up. I love her this much.)

Additional to the misfortunes that are currently happening in my life, I didn't get so lucky in my class in English 1. I usually am. Mr. A.G. doesn't usually have a class or doesn't call me whenever I'm not prepared for his class. However, last Thursday, he sent out two of my classmates because they haven't prepared three critical questions he required us to have for the specimen text he assigned us to read. (Just like me.) You know what happened next? I got called! GOD! My brain crammed to make a question and it was very annoying in my part because I have something I wanted to ask though I didn't succeed in putting it in a coherent sentence at that time. Good thing he seemed to think that I just can't make it in a coherent sentence and he decided to call someone else instead. I wasn't sent out. I was still lucky, but starting to get unlucky.

"We start living as soon as we are born. However, as soon as we start living, we start dying as well." -Arianne

Maliit na malaking bagay...

2009-08-15T18:21:00.000+08:00

Okay, dahil Buwan ng Wika ngayon, Tagalog muna ang wikang aking gagamitin sa mga kalokohang aking ibabahagi ko sa inyo ngayong buwan.

Kakatapos pa lamang kanina ng isang nakadudugong pagsusulit sa Sipnayan 17 (Math 17). Aaminin ko, hindi naman ako nagbalik-tanaw sa aking mga aralin ngunit sadyang napakahirap lamang talaga ng pagsusulit. Masuwerte na ako kung ako'y makakuha ng 70 pataas na marka.

Sa pagtatapos ng aming pagsusulit, mga bandang 9:00 a.m. ng umaga, inaantay ako ng dalawa kong kaibigan. Tila kapareho ko naman silang nahirapan sa pagsusulit, ngunit batid kong mas mababa ang markang aking makukuha dahil alam kong nag-aral sila kahit papaano, hindi katulad ko. Sa aming paglalakad, mayroon silang pinag-uusapang dalaga na itatago ko sa pangalang Bb. Hindi ko kilala o HKK (paumanhin sa pangalan, walang ibang pumapasok sa aking isipan ngayon. Isa pa, kilala ko lamang siya sa pangalan). Sa kanilang pagkakakuwento, napakaganda nitong si Bb. HKK dahil ayon sa kanila, hawig daw ito sa aming kamag-aral nuong kami ay nasa City of Mandaluyong Science High School (CMSHS) pa, na tunay na mala-Diyosa ang ganda kaya naman ako'y nasabik na makita ang sinasabi nilang dalaga.

Ngunit sa kabila ng mga nakalilibang na mga gawain na tulad nito, isang tao pa rin ang hinahanap ko. Bawat patak ng segundo, siya lamang ang namamalagi sa aking balintataw. Kanina nga lamang, iniisip ko kung siya ba'y nasa mabuting kalagayan, kung siya'y nakakain na at kung iniisip din kaya niya ko kahit papano sa mga panahong iyon. Hindi ako matahimik, gusto ko siya makita... o kahit masulyapan lamang kahit sa malayo. Kaya naman ng sinabi ng isa kong kaibigan na siya ay pupunta ng SM Megamall, ako'y nagpasiyang sumama. Bakit? Manunuod ang aking hinahanap-hanap na dalaga ay manunuod ng isang pagsasabuhay sa makabuluhang buhay ng kabiyak yumaong "Ina ng Demokrasya", si Benigno Servillano "Ninoy" Aquino, Jr sa nasabing gusaling pangkalakalan.

Noong una, nagdalawang isip pa ako kung dapat ba kong mag-antay para lamang makita siya. Alam kong pareho naming hindi alam ang magiging resulta kung makikita namin ang isa't isa sa panahong iyon, ngunit hindi iyon ang tunay na dahilan. Natatakot lamang ako na baka hindi niya ko pansinin. Takot na masaktan ng gagawin. Ngunit talagang nangingibabaw ang kagustuhan kong makita siya, kaya naman nagpapapilit na rin ako sa isa kong kaibigan.

Noong dumating na ang pagkakataon na nasa Megamall na ang aking hinihintay (ayon ito sa isang kaibigan ng aking hinihintay), bandang 1:20 ng hapon, hindi na ako mapakali sa aking kinatatayuan. Makikita ko siya. Masusulyapan ko siya. Bumibilis ang tibok ng puso ko. Natatakot, nasasabik, nangangamba... Lumipas pa ang ilang minuto... Halos sunod-sunod na ang aking paghinga... At sa wakas, naaninag ko na rin siya.

Halos tumigil ang mundo sa aking paligid. Nakasentro lamang ang aking paninigin sa kaniyang kagandahan. Hindi ako makapaniwala sa nangyayari sa mga panahong iyon: Nakita ko muli siya sa isa pang pagkakataon. Tunay na napuno ng kaligayahan ang aking puso...

Matapos silang lumampas sa amin, nagpasiya kong umuwi na. Tinanong ako ng aking kaibigan: "Ano pre? Ganoon na lamang ba 'yon?" Tila hindi ko rin masagot ang katanungan niya. Gusto kong makausap muli ang dalaga, makakuwentuhan kahit sandali lamang... Ngunit ayokong magbaka-sakali. Kailangan kong makuntento sa mga simpleng bagay na pinagkakaloob sa akin, kahit sa pagkakataong iyon lamang. Alam kong makakausap ko rin ulit siya balang araw... Na maibabalik din ang dati, dahil araw-araw ko naman itong ipinagpapanalangin sa Panginoon... Pero hindi pa ngayon... Hindi... Kahit gustong-gusto ko... Hindi pa ngayon.

Sa aming paglalakad pauwi, ang kasiyahang bumalot kanina sa akin ay tila hindi ko na ulit maaalala. Tila ba nalimot na agad ito ng panahon, tila napakatagal na ng naransan ko iyon... Ngunit alam kong dapat ako'y maging matatag, kailangan ko lamang ng tamang panahon...

Matuto kayong makuntento sa mga simpleng bagay na nangyayari sa buhay niyo. Magpasalamat ka na nakakakuwentuhan mo pa iyong taong mahal mo, nayayakap o nahahagkan. Malalaman mo na lamang kung gaano mo hahanap-hanapin ang simpleng "Uy!" na bati niya sa iyo kung huli na ang lahat.

P.S. Salamat nga pala sa kaibigan kong sinamahan akong mag-antay at doon sa kaibigan ko na kamag-aral ng hinahanap-hanap ko na tumulong sa akin para masulyapan ko siya kahit ilang segundo lamang. J

A tail that wagged forever...

2009-07-31T22:52:00.010+08:00

"When I was a puppy I entertained you with my antics and made you laugh. You called me your child and despite a number of chewed shoes and a couple of murdered throw pillows, I became your best friend. Whenever I was "bad," you'd shake your finger at me and ask "How could you?" - but then you'd relent and roll me over for a belly rub.

My housetraining took a little longer than expected, because you were terribly busy, but we worked on that together. I remember those nights of nuzzling you in bed, listening to your confidences and secret dreams, and I believed that life could not be any more perfect. We went for long walks and runs in the park, car rides, stops for ice cream (I only got the cone because "ice cream is bad for dogs," you said), and I took long naps in the sun waiting for you to come home at the end of the day.

Gradually, you began spending more time at work and on your career, and more time searching for a human mate. I waited for you patiently, comforted you through heartbreaks and disappointments, never chided you about bad decisions, and romped with glee at your homecomings, and when you fell in love.

She, now your wife, is not a "dog person" - still I welcomed her into our home, tried to show her affection, and obeyed her. I was happy because you were happy. Then the human babies came along and I shared your excitement. I was fascinated by their pinkness, how they smelled, and I wanted to mother them, too. Only she and you worried that I might hurt them, and I spent most of my time banished to another room, or to a dog crate. Oh, how I wanted to love them, but I became a "prisoner of love."

As they began to grow, I became their friend. They clung to my fur and pulled themselves up on wobbly legs, poked fingers in my eyes, investigated my ears and gave me kisses on my nose. I loved everything about them, especially their touch - because your touch was now so infrequent - and I would have defended them with my life if need be.

I would sneak into their beds and listen to their worries and secret dreams. Together we waited for the sound of your car in the driveway. There had been a time, when others asked you if you had a dog, that you produced a photo of me from your wallet and told them stories about me. These past few years, you just answered "yes" and changed the subject. I had gone from being your dog to "just a dog," and you resented every expenditure on my behalf.

Now you have a new career opportunity in another city and you and they will be moving to an apartment that does not allow pets. You've made the right decision for your "family," but there was a time when I was your only family.

I was excited about the car ride until we arrived at the animal shelter. It smelled of dogs and cats, of fear, of hopelessness. You filled out the paperwork and said "I know you will find a good home for her." They shrugged and gave you a pained look. They understand the realities facing a middle-aged dog or cat, even one with "papers."

You had to pry your son's fingers loose from my collar as he screamed "No, Daddy! Please don't let them take my dog!" And I worried for him and what lessons you had just taught him about friendship and loyalty, about love and responsibility, and about respect for all life. You gave me a goodbye pat on the head, avoided my eyes, and politely refused to take my collar and leash with you. You had a deadline to meet and now I have one, too.

After you left, the two nice ladies said you probably knew about your upcoming move months ago and made no attempt to find me another good home. They shook their heads and asked "How could you?"

They are as attentive to us here in the shelter as their busy schedules allow. They feed us, of course, but I lost my appetite days ago. At first, whenever anyone passed my pen, I rushed to the front, hoping it was you - that you had changed your mind - that this was all a bad dream...or I hoped it would at least be someone who cared, anyone who might save me. When I realized I could not compete with the frolicking for attention of happy puppies, oblivious to their own fate, I retreated to a far corner and waited.

I heard her footsteps as she came for me at the end of the day and I padded along the aisle after her to a separate room. A blissfully quiet room. She placed me on the table, rubbed my ears and told me not to worry. My heart pounded in anticipation of what was to come, but there was also a sense of relief. The prisoner of love had run out of days. As is my nature, I was more concerned about her. The burden which she bears weighs heavily on her and I know that, the same way I knew your every mood.

She gently placed a tourniquet around my foreleg as a tear ran down her cheek. I licked her hand in the same way I used to comfort you so many years ago. She expertly slid the hypodermic needle into my vein. As I felt the sting and the cool liquid coursing through my body, I lay down sleepily, looked into her kind eyes and murmured "How could you?"

Perhaps because she understood my dog speak, she said "I'm so sorry." She hugged me and hurriedly explained it was her job to make sure I went to a better place, where I wouldn't be ignored or abused or abandoned, or have to fend for myself - a place of love and light so very different from this earthly place. With my last bit of energy, I tried to convey to her with a thump of my tail that my "How could you?" was not meant for her. It was you, My Beloved Master, I was thinking of. I will think of you and wait for you forever.

May everyone in your life continue to show you so much loyalty."

This story entitled "How Could You?", came from the book "Pieces of My Heart" by Jim Willis. As I first read this tale in a note of a friend in Facebook, I felt remarkably touched. I wanted you guys to be able to read and appreciate it like me that is why I posted it here in my blog. I hope you enjoyed reading and learned a lesson.

That's all for now.

"Loyalty means nothing unless it has at its heart the absolute principle of self-sacrifice."

A vignette of a flesh-eating Minotaur...

2009-07-29T16:48:00.009+08:00

So, this begins after my Mathematics 17 class. My Math 17 professor actually dismissed us at the exact time (it is not advisable for prof. to dismiss students like this because he/she would be late for his/her next class. You'll know why if you keep reading) and my next destination (unfortunately for me) is in College of Arts and Letters (CAL), which is about 10-15 min. walk or trip (via jeepney), for my next class: English 1. (Note that my designated classroom is in the 5^th floor so it would take me another 2-3 min. before I finally reach the room.)

Time check:

8:15 - time of dismissal from Math 17 class.

8:30 - start of English 1 class.

I was only thinking of one thing during that time: I'm doomed

I sped up my walk (it actually felt like I was already running... slowly), hoping not to arrive in the room late because Mr. Minotaur clearly articulated to us on our first day of meeting that he/she doesn't really like latecomers and that one will suffer terrible fate and consequence if one is to be late. Well, when I arrived, I was so thankful he/she didn't send me out because it was the fate of those who came a minute or so after me. (I was, as if, saved by the bell because in my calculations, I was already 2-3 min. late.) Just got lucky, I guess.

Let me give you a short background of Mr. Minotaur so that you'd be able to know how it felt today. So he/she is plain flawless. Exaggerated? BELIVE IT! He/she graduated in De La Salle University and taught in THE Ateneo de Manila before he/she became a flesh-eating professor of THE University of the Philippines, Diliman. (He/she used the article "THE", yes with the capital T-H-E, to emphasize the greatness of the two most prestigious schools in the Philippines. [Sorry La Salle students.]) He/she belonged to a wealthy (I based this on how his/her story sounded to me. He/she told us that when his/her mother's sisters wished for cars, jewels and riches from their grandfather, his/her mother wished for books instead. [Don't be silly, the books are not ordinary books. Some of them still needed to be ordered and shipped from other countries.]) family and just like his/her mother; he/she liked reading as much. Fortunately for him/her, as long as what he/she was requesting were books, no matter what the price would say, his/her mother will buy it for him/her. As he/she had said to us, this is how he/she became good at the language.

So he/she started the class after he/she made us pass our homework. (uhhmm, it was a short essay with a requirement of two faces of paper, double spaced, which I just finished working with this particular morning. [oh well, I'm expecting a very low grade because even I know how my essay sucked.]) I thought he/she would be discussing again some rules about grammar and language but he/she actually didn't. Instead, he just called us randomly, asking us random questions with grammars (A form of reviewing, I guess) and spellings of words (I missed mine. I misspelled Mediterranean as "meditterranean." [There are two mistakes in my spelling. First, is my double "t" and I didn't say "capital m"]) and it actually turned out to be FUN. The discussion didn't turned out to be the usual brain torturing lessons because everything was based on our stock knowledge. Also, he/she joked with us making the room, which is usually gloomy, boring and hot, lively.

Here are some of the things I've learned today:

1. The way groups of certain people and things are called:

Group of Girls = Bevy

Group of Clouds = Column

Group of Dogs = Bedlam

Group of Geese = Gaggle

Group of Small = Collection

Antiques

2. The masculine and feminine form of certain animals:

Peacock = Peafowl (M); Peahen (F)

Cat = Tomcat (M); Tabby cat (F)

Dog = Hound (M); Bitch (F)

Pig = Bore (M); Sow (F)

Donkey = Jackass (M); Jenny (F)

3. In spelling, the letter "I" always comes before the letter "E" except if: it is after the letter "C"; in some cases after the letter "R"; and after the letter "W"

So, if you pass THE University of the Philippines College Admission Test (UPCAT) and are designated in Diliman, or if you are already a student in UP Diliman and you became interested with him because of this, better look for the subject English 1 with the flesh eating Minotaur as its professor: Mr. A.G. It's F-U-N, trust me. Just be ready for a "not-very-pleasing-grade" if you won't do your best. *wink*

P.S. Mr. A.G. was the one who called himself as the flesh-eating Minotaur and I had just adapted it. ^_^

What we own and what we don't...

2009-07-28T18:41:00.008+08:00

"If you love a person, set him/her free. If he/she comes back, then he/she is yours. If he/she doesn't, he/she never was."

Okay. First of all, this is about LOVE. If you're sick and tired of the stories, entries, etc. about the said topic then just stop reading right at this point.

Now, I will assume that you're quite interested with what I have to say because you continued reading. So let's start of with the definition of love. What the heck is love anyway?

"Love is any of a number of emotions and experiences related to a sense of strong affection and attachment," according to Wikipedia;

"It is an unselfish loyal and benevolent concern for others," defined by the Merriam-Webster's Dictionary and Thesaurus;

"It can't be explained by any theories or reasons," speculated by Science;

And "it can never be calculated (of course)," stated by Mathematics.

Next question is: why do you fall in love with a person?

One person may say that "it's because he/she was so kind to me." Another may say that "it's because he/she made me feel comfortable and secure when I was in catastrophe." Another one may state that "it's because they had known each other for a very long time that's why we understand each other well." These are just some of the possible answers when you ask a random person the question that I am discussing but have you ever heard a person with an answer "I don't know?" (Thinking it's corny? Think again.)

If you have a reason why you fell in love with a certain person, then what would happen if that reason disappears? Wouldn't you fall out of love? Falling in love with a person shouldn't have any reasons, if that is "true" love. I know some of you are disagreeing right at the moment you've read that statement but think of this: if you loved a person because of a reason, then you don't love the person at all. You just like his/her qualities. Why? You loved the reason (his/her qualities), not the person.

Now, if you don't have any reason why you fell in love, don't you think it would be troublesome?

YES, it would be.

Look at this: if you have a reason and that reason disappears, then you can already fall out of love, end of story, but what if you don't have any reason that would disappear to let you fall out of love?

The answer to that is experiencing pain.

In a relationship in which love is in its center, we would really experience misunderstandings. With this, we would be hurt because, we're all different persons that's why whether we like it or not, even if we love a person, we would dislike/hate some of his/her qualities but if you're really serious with the said relationship, you should accept that fact that the person we love can never be the definition of our "perfect" man/woman. Loving him/her is accepting everything about him/her and making him/her the "perfect" one for us. "True" love would make you obstinate and irrational that's why despite of being in pain and being hurt, we still continue to love that person. Now, do you get it why people say that love and pain comes in pairs?

Then, how much pain should we endure? (Why am I asking this? It's because you might think that "true" love should be taking all the pain.)

The answer is: it is up to you. We have different ways of thinking as well as emotional capacities. Some may break up with you already because of situations that are intolerable for him/her. It would hurt VERY much when one decides to end your relationship just because of this (but please don't question his/her love for you. As I've commented a while ago, "true" love doesn't mean taking all the pain especially if you're beyond your limit.) When faced in this situation, two options would always be available for you. One is to be a persistent fool and continue to be arrogant; one that he/she would be considering as obsession and not love anymore (people have different perspectives in obsession. Some don't consider it as love but actually, it is just extreme love overshadowed by selfishness). Or just let go. "If it already hurts you so much then just let go," as said by my friends.

"Let go."

It's very funny how a very short word can be so hard to put into action. It may even surpass the ever-trusted quote "if there's a will, there will always be a way," if you're obstinate enough.

Can't let go? It's not his/her problem so set him/her free first. He/she still has the right to choose how to live his/her life. You can't choose what he/she should choose. He/she is not your puppet.

After doing what is right, choose whether to hold on for a while and stay as friends (even though I know you won't treat him/her as a "friend" even if you're just treated as such. *wink*) or isolate yourself from her. Both would make you feel hell but which one is better to choose? Whether you believe me or not, it's better to hold on for a while. It's a tormenting like the other, but it would provide you a very small amount of happiness, so it's still worth it (martyrdom? Well, if that's how you want to think of it, then so be it.) You don't have to rush things. You'd know when to give up being a "martyr" anyway. It would directly hit you in the face. So if you have time to worry about letting go, why not worry yourself with other things instead? Trust me on this. Just continue to love him/her like there's no tomorrow. Who knows, what you're doing may touch his/her heart and everything might end well.

If he/she wants to be freed, set him/her free. If he/she comes back, he/she is YOURS. If not, he/she NEVER WAS.

This is truly the work of God. :)

2009-07-27T13:48:00.000+08:00

HAPPY 95th Anniversary to all Iglesia Ni Cristo out there!!! May God give us more blessings as we approach the end of this long and tiring journey! Hang in there, we're almost there. :)

JD here!

2009-07-26T22:55:00.000+08:00

I don't know how often I can post things but don't worry, you'd be informed anyway. :)