THE KIWI WHO SOARED THE SKIES...

       "When I was a puppy I entertained you with my antics and made you laugh. You called me your child and despite a number of chewed shoes and a couple of murdered throw pillows, I became your best friend. Whenever I was "bad," you'd shake your finger at me and ask "How could you?" - but then you'd relent and roll me over for a belly rub.

       My housetraining took a little longer than expected, because you were terribly busy, but we worked on that together. I remember those nights of nuzzling you in bed, listening to your confidences and secret dreams, and I believed that life could not be any more perfect. We went for long walks and runs in the park, car rides, stops for ice cream (I only got the cone because "ice cream is bad for dogs," you said), and I took long naps in the sun waiting for you to come home at the end of the day.

       Gradually, you began spending more time at work and on your career, and more time searching for a human mate. I waited for you patiently, comforted you through heartbreaks and disappointments, never chided you about bad decisions, and romped with glee at your homecomings, and when you fell in love.

       She, now your wife, is not a "dog person" - still I welcomed her into our home, tried to show her affection, and obeyed her. I was happy because you were happy. Then the human babies came along and I shared your excitement. I was fascinated by their pinkness, how they smelled, and I wanted to mother them, too. Only she and you worried that I might hurt them, and I spent most of my time banished to another room, or to a dog crate. Oh, how I wanted to love them, but I became a "prisoner of love."

       As they began to grow, I became their friend. They clung to my fur and pulled themselves up on wobbly legs, poked fingers in my eyes, investigated my ears and gave me kisses on my nose. I loved everything about them, especially their touch - because your touch was now so infrequent - and I would have defended them with my life if need be.

       I would sneak into their beds and listen to their worries and secret dreams. Together we waited for the sound of your car in the driveway. There had been a time, when others asked you if you had a dog, that you produced a photo of me from your wallet and told them stories about me. These past few years, you just answered "yes" and changed the subject. I had gone from being your dog to "just a dog," and you resented every expenditure on my behalf.

       Now you have a new career opportunity in another city and you and they will be moving to an apartment that does not allow pets. You've made the right decision for your "family," but there was a time when I was your only family.

       I was excited about the car ride until we arrived at the animal shelter. It smelled of dogs and cats, of fear, of hopelessness. You filled out the paperwork and said "I know you will find a good home for her." They shrugged and gave you a pained look. They understand the realities facing a middle-aged dog or cat, even one with "papers."

       You had to pry your son's fingers loose from my collar as he screamed "No, Daddy! Please don't let them take my dog!" And I worried for him and what lessons you had just taught him about friendship and loyalty, about love and responsibility, and about respect for all life. You gave me a goodbye pat on the head, avoided my eyes, and politely refused to take my collar and leash with you. You had a deadline to meet and now I have one, too.

       After you left, the two nice ladies said you probably knew about your upcoming move months ago and made no attempt to find me another good home. They shook their heads and asked "How could you?"

       They are as attentive to us here in the shelter as their busy schedules allow. They feed us, of course, but I lost my appetite days ago. At first, whenever anyone passed my pen, I rushed to the front, hoping it was you - that you had changed your mind - that this was all a bad dream...or I hoped it would at least be someone who cared, anyone who might save me. When I realized I could not compete with the frolicking for attention of happy puppies, oblivious to their own fate, I retreated to a far corner and waited.

        I heard her footsteps as she came for me at the end of the day and I padded along the aisle after her to a separate room. A blissfully quiet room. She placed me on the table, rubbed my ears and told me not to worry. My heart pounded in anticipation of what was to come, but there was also a sense of relief. The prisoner of love had run out of days. As is my nature, I was more concerned about her. The burden which she bears weighs heavily on her and I know that, the same way I knew your every mood.

       She gently placed a tourniquet around my foreleg as a tear ran down her cheek. I licked her hand in the same way I used to comfort you so many years ago. She expertly slid the hypodermic needle into my vein. As I felt the sting and the cool liquid coursing through my body, I lay down sleepily, looked into her kind eyes and murmured "How could you?"

       Perhaps because she understood my dog speak, she said "I'm so sorry." She hugged me and hurriedly explained it was her job to make sure I went to a better place, where I wouldn't be ignored or abused or abandoned, or have to fend for myself - a place of love and light so very different from this earthly place. With my last bit of energy, I tried to convey to her with a thump of my tail that my "How could you?" was not meant for her. It was you, My Beloved Master, I was thinking of. I will think of you and wait for you forever.

May everyone in your life continue to show you so much loyalty."

            This story entitled "How Could You?", came from the book "Pieces of My Heart" by Jim Willis. As I first read this tale in a note of a friend in Facebook, I felt remarkably touched. I wanted you guys to be able to read and appreciate it like me that is why I posted it here in my blog. I hope you enjoyed reading and learned a lesson.

            That's all for now.

            "Loyalty means nothing unless it has at its heart the absolute principle of self-sacrifice."  

            So, this begins after my Mathematics 17 class. My Math 17 professor actually dismissed us at the exact time (it is not advisable for prof. to dismiss students like this because he/she would be late for his/her next class. You'll know why if you keep reading) and my next destination (unfortunately for me) is in College of Arts and Letters (CAL), which is about 10-15 min. walk or trip (via jeepney), for my next class: English 1. (Note that my designated classroom is in the 5^th floor so it would take me another 2-3 min. before I finally reach the room.)

            Time check:

                8:15 - time of dismissal from Math 17 class.

                8:30 - start of English 1 class.

            I was only thinking of one thing during that time: I'm doomed

            I sped up my walk (it actually felt like I was already running... slowly), hoping not to arrive in the room late because Mr. Minotaur clearly articulated to us on our first day of meeting that he/she doesn't really like latecomers and that one will suffer terrible fate and consequence if one is to be late. Well, when I arrived, I was so thankful he/she didn't send me out because it was the fate of those who came a minute or so after me. (I was, as if, saved by the bell because in my calculations, I was already 2-3 min. late.) Just got lucky, I guess.

            Let me give you a short background of Mr. Minotaur so that you'd be able to know how it felt today. So he/she is plain flawless. Exaggerated? BELIVE IT! He/she graduated in De La Salle University and taught in THE Ateneo de Manila before he/she became a flesh-eating professor of THE University of the Philippines, Diliman. (He/she used the article "THE", yes with the capital T-H-E, to emphasize the greatness of the two most prestigious schools in the Philippines. [Sorry La Salle students.]) He/she belonged to a wealthy (I based this on how his/her story sounded to me. He/she told us that when his/her mother's sisters wished for cars, jewels and riches from their grandfather, his/her mother wished for books instead. [Don't be silly, the books are not ordinary books. Some of them still needed to be ordered and shipped from other countries.]) family and just like his/her mother; he/she liked reading as much. Fortunately for him/her, as long as what he/she was requesting were books, no matter what the price would say, his/her mother will buy it for him/her. As he/she had said to us, this is how he/she became good at the language.

            So he/she started the class after he/she made us pass our homework. (uhhmm, it was a short essay with a requirement of two faces of paper, double spaced, which I just finished working with this particular morning. [oh well, I'm expecting a very low grade because even I know how my essay sucked.]) I thought he/she would be discussing again some rules about grammar and language but he/she actually didn't. Instead, he just called us randomly, asking us random questions with grammars (A form of reviewing, I guess) and spellings of words (I missed mine. I misspelled Mediterranean as "meditterranean." [There are two mistakes in my spelling. First, is my double "t" and I didn't say "capital m"]) and it actually turned out to be FUN. The discussion didn't turned out to be the usual brain torturing lessons because everything was based on our stock knowledge. Also, he/she joked with us making the room, which is usually gloomy, boring and hot, lively.

            Here are some of the things I've learned today:

            1. The way groups of certain people and things are called:

   Group of Girls            =          Bevy

         Group of Clouds         =          Column

         Group of Dogs            =          Bedlam

         Group of Geese          =          Gaggle

         Group of Small           =          Collection

         Antiques

2. The masculine and feminine form of certain animals: 

   Peacock = Peafowl (M); Peahen (F)

   Cat = Tomcat (M); Tabby cat (F)

   Dog = Hound (M); Bitch (F)

   Pig = Bore (M); Sow (F)

   Donkey = Jackass (M); Jenny (F)

3. In spelling, the letter "I" always comes before the letter "E" except if: it is after the letter "C"; in some cases after the letter "R"; and after the letter "W"

So, if you pass THE University of the Philippines College Admission Test (UPCAT) and are designated in Diliman, or if you are already a student in UP Diliman and you became interested with him because of this, better look for the subject English 1 with the flesh eating Minotaur as its professor: Mr. A.G. It's F-U-N, trust me. Just be ready for a "not-very-pleasing-grade" if you won't do your best. *wink*

P.S. Mr. A.G. was the one who called himself as the flesh-eating Minotaur and I had just adapted it. ^_^

            "If you love a person, set him/her free. If he/she comes back, then he/she is yours. If he/she doesn't, he/she never was."

Okay. First of all, this is about LOVE. If you're sick and tired of the stories, entries, etc. about the said topic then just stop reading right at this point.

Now, I will assume that you're quite interested with what I have to say because you continued reading. So let's start of with the definition of love. What the heck is love anyway?

"Love is any of a number of emotions and experiences related to a sense of strong affection and attachment," according to Wikipedia;

"It is an unselfish loyal and benevolent concern for others," defined by the Merriam-Webster's Dictionary and Thesaurus;

"It can't be explained by any theories or reasons," speculated by Science;

And "it can never be calculated (of course)," stated by Mathematics.

Next question is: why do you fall in love with a person?

One person may say that "it's because he/she was so kind to me." Another may say that "it's because he/she made me feel comfortable and secure when I was in catastrophe." Another one may state that "it's because they had known each other for a very long time that's why we understand each other well." These are just some of the possible answers when you ask a random person the question that I am discussing but have you ever heard a person with an answer "I don't know?" (Thinking it's corny? Think again.)

If you have a reason why you fell in love with a certain person, then what would happen if that reason disappears? Wouldn't you fall out of love? Falling in love with a person shouldn't have any reasons, if that is "true" love. I know some of you are disagreeing right at the moment you've read that statement but think of this: if you loved a person because of a reason, then you don't love the person at all. You just like his/her qualities. Why? You loved the reason (his/her qualities), not the person.

Now, if you don't have any reason why you fell in love, don't you think it would be troublesome?

YES, it would be.

Look at this: if you have a reason and that reason disappears, then you can already fall out of love, end of story, but what if you don't have any reason that would disappear to let you fall out of love?

The answer to that is experiencing pain.

In a relationship in which love is in its center, we would really experience misunderstandings. With this, we would be hurt because, we're all different persons that's why whether we like it or not, even if we love a person, we would dislike/hate some of his/her qualities but if you're really serious with the said relationship, you should accept that fact that the person we love can never be the definition of our "perfect" man/woman. Loving him/her is accepting everything about him/her and making him/her the "perfect" one for us. "True" love would make you obstinate and irrational that's why despite of being in pain and being hurt, we still continue to love that person. Now, do you get it why people say that love and pain comes in pairs?

Then, how much pain should we endure? (Why am I asking this? It's because you might think that "true" love should be taking all the pain.)

The answer is: it is up to you. We have different ways of thinking as well as emotional capacities. Some may break up with you already because of situations that are intolerable for him/her. It would hurt VERY much when one decides to end your relationship just because of this (but please don't question his/her love for you. As I've commented a while ago, "true" love doesn't mean taking all the pain especially if you're beyond your limit.) When faced in this situation, two options would always be available for you. One is to be a persistent fool and continue to be arrogant; one that he/she would be considering as obsession and not love anymore (people have different perspectives in obsession. Some don't consider it as love but actually, it is just extreme love overshadowed by selfishness). Or just let go. "If it already hurts you so much then just let go," as said by my friends.

"Let go."

It's very funny how a very short word can be so hard to put into action. It may even surpass the ever-trusted quote "if there's a will, there will always be a way," if you're obstinate enough.

Can't let go? It's not his/her problem so set him/her free first. He/she still has the right to choose how to live his/her life. You can't choose what he/she should choose. He/she is not your puppet.

After doing what is right, choose whether to hold on for a while and stay as friends (even though I know you won't treat him/her as a "friend" even if you're just treated as such. *wink*) or isolate yourself from her. Both would make you feel hell but which one is better to choose? Whether you believe me or not, it's better to hold on for a while. It's a tormenting like the other, but it would provide you a very small amount of happiness, so it's still worth it (martyrdom? Well, if that's how you want to think of it, then so be it.) You don't have to rush things. You'd know when to give up being a "martyr" anyway. It would directly hit you in the face. So if you have time to worry about letting go, why not worry yourself with other things instead? Trust me on this. Just continue to love him/her like there's no tomorrow. Who knows, what you're doing may touch his/her heart and everything might end well.

If he/she wants to be freed, set him/her free. If he/she comes back, he/she is YOURS. If not, he/she NEVER WAS.

 

HAPPY 95th Anniversary to all Iglesia Ni Cristo out there!!! May God give us more blessings as we approach the end of this long and tiring journey! Hang in there, we're almost there. :)

I don't know how often I can post things but don't worry, you'd be informed anyway. :)